|| Playing Pretend ||

Every day I wake up, I pretend I’m fine.
Put on a smile like it’s truly mine.
I dance through the darkness, pretend not to care,
But it’s getting so heavy, this mask that I wear.

I wish you could see past the edges I blur,
But shadows speak louder than words ever were.

So I build up my walls with trembling hands,
Too scared you’ll break them and not understand.
I laugh on cue, and I play the part,
With perfect lines and a practiced heart.

But days go by, and I stay still,
Living a life against my will.

And I want to scream and let you in,
To display all the scars I have on my skin.
But I know this will make you leave,
Just like last time when I was naive.
So I bury the ache, and I try to forgive-
Myself for needing too much,
And having nothing to give.

I know this must come to an end.
I know I should stop playing pretend.
But if I show you my cracks,
Will you stay?
Or look away?