The Taste of Relationships

If you gave me the choice between a plate of roasted vegetables and a bag of gummy bears, I’d pick gummy bears every time. Not just a handful either, I’ll eat until I feel sick. With nourishing food, I stall. I push it around my plate, drag out the chewing, and most times, I don’t even bother buying the groceries for it in the first place.

Thinking about it recently made me realize this strange analogy that my relationships often look the same.

It’s not that the people around me are bad. Many of them are kind, generous, and well-meaning. But the way I show up with them… That’s where it goes wrong. I avoid being honest, I pretend, I bend myself into shapes that I think will make me easier to love. And afterwards, I leave feeling heavy, disappointed, and drained, like I’ve eaten too much of something my body can’t actually digest.

I say yes because it’s easier for me than saying no. I smile because it’s easier than explaining myself. I keep repeating these old, familiar choices, even though I know they leave me empty.

And the hardest, inconvenient truth is that it isn’t really about the food. It isn’t really about the people. It’s about me. It’s about the way I choose to sabotage myself, the way I keep feeding myself what doesn’t nourish me.

Something has to change.