Starting Again

Every time I come back to this blank page after a long pause, I feel both excited and guilty. I haven't written here in a while. And even just writing that sentence makes a familiar voice in my head whisper, “You should have posted more. You should be more consistent.” But I’m learning to respond to that voice with kindness, acknowledging that, even though it has done some damage, it’s still a part of me that means well.

Because the truth is, life happens. Passions ebb and flow. Energy fluctuates. And that’s okay. Personally, I don’t think I’m built for the fast-paced world we live in, and I need more time in anything I do. Trying to force myself to match its pace takes a toll on me. As if I’m running in place, exhausting myself but not actually moving or making progress, and the frustration of this wears me out even more.

For the longest time, I equated consistency and productivity with worthiness. If I wasn’t showing up regularly, posting blogs, uploading YouTube videos, and making progress on my book, while maintaining a social life, being everything I can be for the people I love, and taking care of myself, I felt like I was failing. Not just at my goals, but somehow at being me. But recently, I’ve been exploring a different approach. One that honours the seasons we go through, and allows space for rest, reflection, and silence.

Coming back to my website and to my YouTube channel at the same time doesn’t mean I’ve figured everything out. It doesn’t mean I now have the perfect system in place to post every week or to balance it all (wouldn’t that be nice? 😅). It simply means I’m returning. No big statement or promise, just the understanding that I’m a work in progress, and I’m curious about it all.

There’s a strange kind of magic in starting again. It humbles you. It softens your edges. It teaches you to show up not because of a perfectly curated plan, but because something inside you wants to connect, create, and share, even if your voice trembles a little while doing it.

So if you’ve also put something down for a while, like a project, a passion, a dream, I hope this is your reminder that it’s okay. You can return, and the world will keep on moving. There’s no harm in stepping back a little and coming back to it gently. Life is not linear. We have day and night, and every setback holds a lesson. Don’t beat yourself up for giving yourself what you need to move forward, and be kind to yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, I’m writing these lines to you knowing that I should practice what I preach, and it’s difficult. But it’s possible. Little by little, day by day, we’ll get there.

Thank you for being here. I’ve missed this space. And I’m so happy to be back, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

With love,

Eden 💛